Myths About Dating a Girl Older Than You
More and more people accept the idea that age doesn't matter when it comes to love. But that's how it is?
After my divorce at the age of 38, I was asked to date several men in their 20s. This got me thinking about the age difference and our cultural assumptions about dating older women. I realized that I needed a change of perspective.
Fast forward to today, a few months into my second marriage, and my perspective has certainly changed. My wonderful partner is a man who is almost 12 years younger than me and the difference in age means nothing.
On my wedding day, I decided to debunk some myths about dating older women:
Myth 1: You will have nothing in common
You may be worried that if you go beyond your own age group, you won't have enough resemblance to work with.
You'll be dealing with different music, you won't get your movie reference, different schools for the two of you, your childhoods were different... and this is all very true, but doesn't it apply to everyone? two people, no matter how old they are? they? Do we really want to meet different versions of ourselves?
Part of the fun of dating is meeting new and different people. This is an opportunity to share other people's interests and learn new things.
And when it comes to music, they've been into old-school rock for about twenty years, and some people in their forties only listen to the latest hits. Is it really that important?
Myth 2: People will find it weird
If you date a woman who is ten or twenty years older than you, you might get some comments from people. In particular, it may be some time before her family gets the idea. But should you care?
If you enjoy each other's company, have chemistry, and feel like you can be yourself around each other, why should you care what other people think?
Dating is about finding the right person for you, not your friends or family. When your family sees how happy you are and how good others are to you, we hope they will respect you and your partner and share your happiness.
Myth #3: Dating an older woman means your relationship will have a cougar/toy dynamic
There was a boy in his early twenties who had children in a row and was much more mature than his classmates.
Likewise, there are older women who are energetic and as young as ten years ago.
Cougars and toys are heroes, not real people.
In real life, adults of all ages, cultures, races, and backgrounds fall in love with each other, despite their differences.
Myth #4: You should only date people your type and age
We all have dating preferences. Some of us are attracted to blondes, a certain body type, or the way a person dresses.
We must not compromise on chemistry: it is important to be attracted to the person you are dating. But the chemistry and attraction is a strange thing.
Sometimes you just click on someone even if they don't match your usual type. That's it for me and my partner.
If you find yourself online and dump a woman because you generally don't like her, you're probably missing her. Types are usually based on superficial things like hair color, height, and age.
A successful relationship that really makes you happy in the long run is best based on character. Is your partner a good listener, kind, supportive and honest?
Does he have the same values as you? Meeting your type can be very satisfying.
Myth 5: Relationships with a big age gap won't work in the long run
Cultural differences put additional stress on relationships, and age differences are cultural differences. However, that doesn't mean their special relationship with their age difference doesn't work out.
Relationships fail for many reasons. Age is very irrelevant. Communication style, compatibility and values are more important than being close to a partner.
Some studies even show that relationships with "grown women" are more satisfying and interesting.
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